A short story. Arthur Bottomley's new toilet knows more about his body than his wife does. She is not pleased about either of these things.
When the NHS installs a smart diagnostic toilet in Arthur Bottomley's upstairs bathroom, he finally has what forty years of hypochondria has been waiting for: a machine that takes him seriously. Felicoty the BBC Weather Girl, so named due to a regrettable technological incident, dispenses archaic remedies, meteorological bowel forecasts, and the occasional recommendation to avoid Peru. Arthur's wife Millicent, who refused to be a Bottomley, is less impressed. A very Scottish comedy about marriage, medicine, and the things we cannot say to the people closest to us. Until a toilet says them first.
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